Such Fun Times
by Bralt
Summary: Ever wonder what those senior Rangers are up to when they go for 'meetings? Perhaps they actually discuss important matters, but it's highly unlikely.
1. Chapter 1

Halt entered the command tent set up in the middle of the Gathering Grounds. The five most senior members of the Corps were assembled, sipping their coffee while either standing or sitting in a chair. Halt accepted his mug from Crowley who sat on his desk. Choosing a seat to the commandant's right, Halt sat down. Around them the other three Rangers were talking amongst themselves.

"My apprentice has to be the dumbest teen in Araluen! I don't know what he was thinking with his little coffee prank," Brice said to Hunter. Brice was arguably the tallest Ranger. His short hair was so blond it was nearly white, and striking green eyes peered out from under a thick brow. Out of those in the tent, he was the youngest, but still held quite a bit of respect from them all. Halt raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his coffee. Now was about the only time he could relax as all the other Rangers and their apprentices believed the seniors were gathered to discuss important things. There were those that tended to eavesdrop, but Halt doubted any would dare this year after what had happened to Gilan last time. Brice glanced at him and smiled. "Why don't you tell them Halt? I think he's still cowering after what you did to him!" the Ranger laughed.

The Rangers shifted so they were all looking at Halt. Crowley was smiling at him from his perch on the desk, this was the real reason they gathered in the tent. It was something of a tradition and competition to see who could name the stupidest, funniest or most embarrassing thing an apprentice had done in the year. Though there were some classics that got told year and year again.

"Let me guess, you just showed him your atrocious manners," Crowley joked to Halt who glared at him.

"Says the man who slurps his coffee like a dog," Halt responded and the gathered Rangers broke into grins. It was always amusing to watch these two bicker. Crowley feigned offense.

"I think I drink more like a cow, thank you very much," he said. Halt rolled his eyes. "Now let's hear how you managed to make a brave apprentice cower."

"There's a fine line between bravery and pure stupidity," Halt muttered. "It's all because you let him talk to Gilan," Halt accused Brice before he began.

* * *

Halt slipped into the shadow of a tall tree surrounding the Gathering Grounds as he spotted a figure darting around a bit suspiciously. Judging from how easily Halt could follow his movements, he suspected the mystery person was a first year apprentice. Halt was getting back from patrolling the perimeter and was close to one of the main fires. There were three main fires, one at the middle of the grounds then two smaller ones near the edges. Usually the one in the middle was used when meetings were taking place or for the senior members, and the ones on the fringes were used to simply relax by for others. Halt watched silently as the grinning first year apprentice crouched down by a pot that held a large supply of coffee grounds. The apprentice's cloak was draped over his shoulders and seemed a tad too big. His cowl was down; revealing his mop of blond hair and dark brown eyes, and Halt recognized him as Toby, Brice's apprentice. As all first years were, he was muscled but not nearly as much as the others gathered. In one hand he held a small hand shovel. Halt watched as the boy cast a quick glance around as if confirming nobody was watching before removing the top of the pot. Halt noted that he seemed rather jumpy as he looked around again. Most Rangers were either out hunting or watching the apprentices practice. It seemed this apprentice had a break and wasn't using it smartly.

The boy pulled a large pouch out from his jerkin pocket and opened it. Halt, curious as to what the boy was doing, remained still. It'd been a while since he'd been able to mess with an apprentice, and he knew that whatever Toby was doing wasn't anything good. Brice wouldn't mind if Halt taught his apprentice a lesson. Toby carefully began shoveling the coffee grounds into his pouch, managing to only spill a small amount that he ground into the dirt so there was no evidence they had been there. When that was done, Toby tied the pouch to his belt so it was secure and wouldn't fall if he was running. Glancing around again, he began to fill the pot back up with dark loose dirt that had some resemblance to the grounds. Halt felt the urge to scare the apprentice then and there when his nerves were at their highest, but knew it'd be best to wait. The real time to strike was when the boy thought he had gotten away with it and started to relax. When the pot was full again, Toby replaced the top and looked around for perhaps the third time. Giving a smile of relief, he began to walk away. He obviously didn't think anybody was there so didn't think he needed to hide while he retreated. Another thing to add to the list of his mistakes.

Halt slipped an arrow from his quiver and loaded his bow. Aiming with accuracy only he and a select few could accomplish, Halt released the arrow and watched as the projectile punched through the pouch that was on Toby's hip. Halt fought back a grin as the boy let out a startled yelp and jumped high enough in the air to rival a jackrabbit. Halt slipped quietly out of the shadows and got behind Toby who had landed and spun to the side to face the trees. His eyes were wild and had a guilty expression.

"You shouldn't mess with a Ranger's coffee," Halt said in Toby's ear. Toby, not recovered from the appearance of the arrow so close to his waist, spun again, almost smashing Halt's nose with his head. "I think it'd be smart of you to put those coffee grounds back, else you want fifty and then some Rangers after you," Halt added, indicating the pouch. Toby nodded so fiercely Halt was a bit concerned his head might come off his neck. Halt was a legend, and Toby had heard from Gilan that he liked to torture bad apprentices, whether they were his or not. It hadn't crossed Toby's mind that Gilan was simply pulling his leg. He had no time to think about it now though as Halt was standing before him, and clearly annoyed.

Toby, shaking beyond control, fumbled with the pouch. The arrow had gone through it and the coffee was falling out with the movement. When it was finally free, Toby hurried back to the pot and speedily dumped the dirt out; wiping the pot with his cloak to make sure none of it was left. When that was done, he swiftly dumped the grounds in. Standing up, Toby almost fell back down again when he saw Halt had managed to come over to stand behind him without him realizing it.

"I'd like my arrow back as well," Halt said almost thoughtfully. Toby scurried to where the arrow lay a few meters away then sprinted back to hand it to the senior Ranger. Replacing the arrow in his quiver, Halt looked back to Toby. He was having far too much fun with this. "Is this the only fire you tried to sabotage?" Halt questioned.

"Y…y...yes sir Halt sir," Toby babbled, trying to appease the grim looking man. Brice had taught him that all Rangers, apprentices or not, were equal, but right now he wasn't thinking all that clearly. Toby thought he saw a glint in the Ranger's eyes and he took it as anger. Little did he know it was actually amusement. Halt believed him; this boy was far too shaken to lie.

"I suggest you go back to practicing your archery," Halt said coolly, and Toby was only too happy to oblige as he took off like a bat out of hell.

* * *

"He came up to me babbling like a child about how he thought you were going to torture him," Brice laughed when Halt had finished. "You nearly gave him a heart attack with that arrow trick!" The other Rangers were laughing as well, with the exception of Halt who only had the slightest hint of a small smile, and that was if you considered a smile a slight upturning of the lips.

"Well it's a good thing he was a mere first year and yours!" Crowley said over the mirth. "When Gilan tried the same trick in his final year, Halt shoved him into the creek and told him to stay there for a few hours, said he was trained enough to know not to do that. Poor Gil was freezing by the time he got out!"

"Sent him up a tree that night as well. First time since I got him I didn't have to sleep through snoring," Halt muttered, sending the Rangers into laughter again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its character**

"Well that's a fine tale right there Brice, but I think my apprentice has you beat," Travis said once they'd quieted down some. Travis was one of the shorter Rangers with dark chocolate hair and blue eyes that always had a mischievous glint. Besides Gilan, he was the best prankster of them all.

"Only thing stupider would be disturbing Halt when he sleeps," Hunter said. He was a broad shouldered, bronze haired and grey eyed man. Crowley split into a smile while the others chuckled.

"That's basically digging your own grave. Just ask those bandits we captured a few years ago," Crowley said. Last time he had been on a mission with Halt to get away from paperwork, the murderous bandits they'd been chasing had tried to sneak in on their camp. Halt, who had been agitated from not enough sleep, had promptly shot them so full of arrows Crowley asked him why he'd dragged porcupines back to the camp. "Perhaps the only time Duncan agreed that it was fine we brought back dead captives." The commandant slapped Halt on the back, his goofy smile lighting up his features.

"You tried it once as well. If I remember correctly, you ended up skidding across the horse stable before I cleaned it out," Halt responded. The other Rangers started laughing again, Crowley one of the loudest.

"I'm guessing your apprentice didn't do that, we haven't heard any complaints of a rampant and tired beast charging around," Crowley kidded to Travis and the other Ranger smiled.

"Might not be as bad as that, but he did try to use 'dark magic' on me the day after I got him," Travis said and launched into his tale.

* * *

Travis could tell Christopher was uneasy being around him. The boy came from a farming family so it made sense he was rather weary of Rangers because of the tales his parents told him. When they'd gotten to the cabin in the early hours of the morning, Christopher had made a point of doing every task assigned to him without qualm and to the best of his ability. Travis didn't complain all that much as he enjoyed not having to do the chores and still have them done right, but it bothered him a little that the boy was doing it out of fear. He wasn't that terrifying was he? It could have been worse; Christopher could have been assigned to Halt. The day went on and Travis realized that Christopher didn't turn his back to him once. It almost seemed that the boy was afraid Travis might strike him down with a bolt of dark lightening while he wasn't looking. By the time lunch came around, Travis was tired of sitting around and looking over reports. He gave Christopher the task of fetching firewood before grabbing his cloak and bow and heading out the door to shoot.

Christopher started out picking up firewood but soon stopped, his curiosity begging for him to study Travis more. He'd deduced that the only way to save himself was to get the Ranger's fabled cloak. According to the many legends he'd heard, the cloak gave them unlimited power, helping them to stay hidden was only part of it. If he could acquire the cloak, then he could easily dispose of the Ranger, perhaps becoming a local legend himself.

So when Travis removed the cloak due to the sun's heat, Christopher snuck out of the trees as quickly as he could and snatched the cloak. He quickly pulled it on and only then realized he didn't have a spell to cast.

O.O.O.O

Travis had seen his new apprentice slinking through the forest but hadn't done anything. The boy had been acting weird ever since he'd arrived; this wasn't anything to worry about, so he continued on with his shooting, now without his cloak. In a few minutes he heard footsteps behind him. It was obvious that Christopher was trying to be silent but failing epically. When the steps stopped and no other noise was present, Travis turned around to see what was going on. What he saw made a smile split his features.

Christopher, who was at least two sizes smaller than him, was wearing his Ranger cloak. It looked like the boy was swimming in the garment. Travis' smile only grew wider when he saw the look upon the boy's face. It was one of complete unpreparedness and a tad of fear. Apparently Christopher had been up to something but, based on his face, it seemed to have failed.

"May I ask-"

"Hocus pocus!" Christopher yelled at the top of his lungs, using the most magical words he could think of. Travis started laughing and Christopher began to panic. These were menacing men, the fact one was laughing didn't bring the sense of humor it should have. Instead it only terrified him more. "Hocus pocus!" Christopher yelled louder this time. He flung his hands out, making gestures as if he were casting some kind of spell. The movement was made all the funnier because of the cloak's large size.

In a sudden idea, Travis collapsed onto the ground. His laughter stopped and he began to jerk uncontrollably. Rolling his eyes back into his head before closing his eyelids, Travis stilled the movements. For extra promise he held his breath. Opening his eyelids the tiniest bit, he watched as Christopher stared at him, assuming he was dead. The staring continued for a fair amount of time and Travis was about to just give up the gag so he could get some air into his lungs. When he was just about to let the air out of his body, Christopher raised his booted foot as if to poke the 'dead' Ranger. When the foot was about an inch away from his ribcage, Travis lashed out with his hand and grabbed Christopher around the ankle.

The scream of the boy ripped through the once quiet clearing. Travis winced at the sheer volume of the scream; it could almost be considered a screech. Travis released his apprentice's ankle, laughing harder than he'd have thought possible at the boy's features. His eyes were as wide as the coins in his pockets and it seemed all color had been sucked out. Added to that, Christopher was shaking uncontrollably. Travis stood, still chuckling.

"First rule of being a Ranger: always check to make sure your enemy's pulse is gone before poking them with your boot," Travis said before Christopher fainted in a heap on the ground.

* * *

The gathered Rangers laughed boisterously as Travis concluded his story. Travis was grinning like an idiot; Christopher was much different than he had been, nobody would have expected that from him. The only Ranger that really struck fear into him now was Halt, but that was understandable.

"When he went down I was afraid I'd given him a heart attack. Don't think that'd look too good in a report," Travis joked once it'd gotten quieter. There were a few more outbursts. Crowley was still smiling when everybody else had calmed, and Halt had the faintest glint of amusement in his eyes. He'd been surprised that things like that didn't happen more than they already did. This was especially odd since a lot of apprentices had come from families that told tales of Rangers' mysterious and dark arts.

"Not as good as watching Halt go after daring apprentices that try to wake him, but pretty close," Crowley said with a short laugh.

"I'm still confused as to why he used 'hocus pocus', if he was going to be cliché he might as well have said abracadabra," Travis replied. "It sounds a bit more threatening if you ask me."

**Please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

"Maybe he could join up with Leon and help him in his anti-Ranger business," Hunter said. "Last week I caught him selling charms and necklaces to keep Rangers' dark magic from hurting you."

"I heard about that, personally I think he should give the money to me, we need it for coffee the way Halt drinks it," Crowley laughed, earning himself a glare from said Ranger.

"I need it if I have to deal with you and two apprentices," the grim man responded and the other occupants' chuckles were heard while waiting for Crowley's response.

"Don't blame me Halt, you picked them out," the Commandant answered with a grin. "Though after Gilan I didn't think you'd choose another apprentice, you were already mostly grey." This earned Crowley another glare from Halt, but the others laughed and the Commandant grinned wider. There was a certain feel of greatness when you made others laugh.

"I'm afraid he can't give anybody the money. I buried it and he's yet to find it," Hunter said with a glint in his eyes. "Not sure if he wants it though, he was pretty spooked when he tried to find it and instead found the pit where my dog buried the bones of whatever he happened to find lying dead."

"At least your apprentice doesn't talk to himself when he thinks nobody's around," Halt muttered. Crowley raised an eyebrow at him.

"Seeing how much you talk to Abelard, they probably thought it was okay to go insane," Crowley teased. All Rangers spoke to their horses, however, it was something they could always make fun of each other for.

"You shouldn't be talking, Pritchard told me on more than one occasion how he walked in on you pretending to speak to Pauline," Halt fired back and was pleased to see Crowley's ears flare red. "Now if you don't mind, I've heard enough of you."

Crowley, back to his old grinning self, settled into a more comfortable position to listen.

* * *

Will bent down to pick up another stick that could be used for kindling. It was a boring task though he preferred it over mapping any day. With a bit of difficulty because of his full arms, he managed to grab the stick. With a suitable pile of the small branches, Will headed back along the path that would take him to the cabin. Once back, he set the sticks down on the veranda.

However, before he could open the door to go inside, he spotted a discarded twig perfect for little kids playing knight. Smiling slightly to himself, he picked it up eagerly and swung it a few times to get the feel of it. He'd played pretend sword fighting with more than one kid when he was in the ward. It had been a common event that at least once a week there would be a 'tournament' out in the courtyard. He'd never really been _good _at it, but it'd never stopped him from trying. Even Horace's mocking didn't get to him like it did in other matters.

"Let the duel begin!" Will said excitedly to himself, just like a herald at the real fights might.

He stood in his ready stance. In reality, it was far from what a ready stance would be, but he'd seen the older boys position themselves so and they'd always beaten him.

"Duck, swing, stab," Will called to himself, performing his calls as he did so. In between each call was a jumble of words as if he were talking to an opponent. "You'll remember the day you decided to fight me," he mumbled.

He spun around in a circle, bringing the twig slashing around with him in a two handed grip. He lunged, spun, jumped and tumbled all across the verandah, never realizing the grim figure standing in the doorway to the cabin. At last he seemed to have defeated his foe and held his foot up as if placing it on the defeated man's chest. His back was still to Halt, and he still hadn't noticed him. Perhaps for the best. Making a big deal about his bows, and blowing kisses to his imaginary fans, Will beamed. He could just picture all the people watching and cheering from make-believe sidelines.

After a few moments he decided he'd basked enough and sauntered over to the edge of the verandah and faced the chair where Halt often sat to watch his apprentice chop wood. Bowing once more, Will held out his hand as if offering it to somebody.

"A great knight needs a great girl," he declared to the chair. Halt's eyebrow arched in response to that, but he remained silent, waiting to see how his apprentice could make a bigger fool of himself. "Alyss, be mine," Will finished with a mock deep voice.

"If the great knight is done with his valiant fight and proposing to my chair, there's more firewood to chop," Halt muttered.

Will jumped and spun around to look at Halt. His face was a deep shade of red, and his 'sword' had fallen from his hand.

"I…you…when…how much did you see?" Will stammered, he kicked the stick he'd been using towards the pile he'd gathered as if that would destroy any evidence of what he'd just done.

"Enough to know how much you fancy my chair," Halt responded. Will's face turned an even deeper shade that Halt didn't know existed. "Now get back to your chores or I may have to stop by the castle later and explain to Alyss you've chosen a chair over her." With that, Halt turned and went back into the cabin muttering something about apprentices and their sanity.

* * *

The tent roared with laughter, and even Halt had a faint quarter of a smile on his lips from the memory. It'd been later in Will's apprentice which had only proved to increase his embarrassment. Halt still remembered how nervous Will had gotten whenever they'd seen Alyss for at least a month afterwards.

"I'm guessing he got the idea to talk to his love from you," Crowley choked out. As always, he'd laughed just as hard as the others and had to have time to recover. The comment didn't help any of the laughing Rangers recover any faster. Halt glared at him.

"You'd know more about talking to yourself than anybody else I know. Or did you already forget how I found you when I showed up yesterday? If I recall correctly you were proposing to your desk and calling it Jane. I believe she's one of the diplomats at Castle Araluen," Halt said. A few sniggers swept across the men. It was always good to hear amusing tidbits about your commandant.

Crowley's ears had turned a slight red, but he was grinning anyway. "At least I put my practice to good use. I believe it took you nearly twenty years to finally ask Pauline to marry you."

**I have to say, this is my personal favorite chapter. Please review**


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